so it seems our friends of the library are having some disagreements, as seen here: http://www.nytimes.com/2003/06/28/arts/28LIBR.html

so i just got back from babysitting my neighbor emily. i should really get a pocket tape recorder so i can not miss anything she says. here is the stuff i remember:

i was named Ovacato U Stink Pitszin (she wrote it on a slip of construction paper for me). my nickname is IOU because she owes me nothing, including dinner so i am not invited to the BBQ campout club's dinner event where they are serving steak, chicken, and BBQ pork. for desert i am also missing out on thousands of s'mores.

i had to kill the monster dinosaur that ate kids with brown eyes. then i was instructed to crush the dinosaur bones to make forks and knives. then i had to take the rest of the bones, grind them up to make urinals and i am supposed to glue them together with urine. i told emily this was gross but she told me she did not care and expected them sitting in her foyer when she wakes up tommorrow. she might be disappointed.

"you have to wear diapers on your head to protect yourself from the stork who would eat your face, clothes, and hair if you don't."

"Now where did i put that food file? Oh I left it in my other pants!"

"I'm a regular thumper"

emily-"this doll is thrown out of the house because it has crazy poofy hair!" me-"well if you put the dolls hair or peoples hair in water it will become less poofy." emily-"oh so just dunk the head?" me-"yes" emily -"wouldnt it be funny if we just kept their heads underwater forever!" followed by five minutes of uncontrollable giggling and me trying to encourage emily to not find drowning people so hysterical. i got her to agree to oxygen tanks like scuba divers but she added that they would need to eat so these tanks also have a food compartment.

After emily used one doll to throw another doll(victim) on the floor she had the victim say "Don't throw me on the floor or i will box your ears!"

amazing

byeness