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LOG: Balti-Malti Part 1
2011-07-22 • 11:59 p.m.

22 July 2011

Eastern Standard Time

11:20 – Cat: I will be there in 30
JessM: Cool! Now I will have time to dry my shorts!

12:00 – And we’re off

12:39 – Steve called us “Funwagon 2011”

12:45 – Cat: So you’re making tortillas
JessM: Well it took me 3.5 to 4 hours to make them in Macedonia, so maybe we should just buy them, or maybe I can just make one for Sarah
Cat: How long will that take?
JessM: Maybe like an hour
Cat: An hour?
JessM: Yeah it will be really big
Cat: Here’s a giant tortilla Sarah, you can wrap yourself in it!
JessM: But it’s not Adam’s birthday

12:47 – “Oh we can go to the Civil War battle sites!” – Cat

13:15 – “Cranberry Township huh?” – Cat

14:22 – Cat: I can’t wait for our first Roy Rogers experience. We’re probably totally going to get food poisoning
JessM: Yeah KT’s going to love us. She is going to be like “Where are you guys?” and we’ll be like “we had to stop and get some depends”

14:24 – As we pass a hazardous waste sign
Cat: Oh! Do we have any of those?
JessM: Well, we haven’t eaten at Roy Rogers yet

14:59 – That was one of the craziest rest stops ever. We were not brave enough to eat at Roy Rogers. We saw this man get out of the limo’s driver seat and open the trunk and I took this photo while we driving away. He posed for me, putting the cigarette in his mouth

2011-07-22 14.57.38

16:09 – JessM: When Side Dishes Become an Entrée: A Story About Beans
Cat: By Katie Myer Circa 2002

16:12 – “I feel like with roast beef it’s either really good or really bad. There is no middle of the road with roast beef” - JessM

16:36 – “And if we have an RV it will be much easier for us to change into our historical re-enactment costumes” – JessM

16:50 – I really like the billboards for the The Elephant and Castle Pub and Restaurant

17:15 – Jessica does a chicken impression with clucks

17:16 – Cat: We are in Gettysburg, we are here with the battle field
JessM: yeah look there’s a battlefield
Cat: That’s not a battlefield, those are titties
JessM: That’s a kind of battlefield

17:17 – Cat: Baltimore 50 Miles!
Cat and JessM: WHOOOHOOO!

17:34 – Maryland: The Old Line State

18:07 – JessM: I feel like that looks more like a grain elevator than a High School
Cat: Yeah, I thought it was a factory

18:39 – “What do you mean they don’t like our people here?” JessM pointing out two lesbians getting into an SUV with a bike rack on the back

20:03 – “This smells so beefy, I love it” – Kristin

20:19 – Cat: We need to find a lighter, but I don’t think we have one
KT: Oh wait! Candle! …(Pause)… How do you light a candle?

20:52 – Steve: You’ll just have to cut the fabric sir
Kristin: It’s called a baby tee

20:53 – “This is them pushing each other across the border” – Steve

20:56 – “That’s NOT a milestone” – Kristin

21:11 – “Take everything out of your pockets and I’m going to use tongs like a washer women” – KT

21:40 – “We’re from the Midwest, if we pay for something we want to see the whole thing” - Steve

22:00 – Adam: What are you doing? What is this shirt?
Steve: It’s called a tank top

22:02 – “Hidden Swiggle: The Jessica Meyer Story” – Steve

22:09 – “Katie brought Pumpkin Pies from her PUMPKIN PIE REFRIDGERATOR!!!” – Steve

22:11 – Steve sings “Katie’s got plates and that’s why I call her Platey Meyer”

22:12 – Kristin: I’m a women!
Steve: She just had her period!

22:22 – Kristin: It was a hot mess
Adam: Yes! I dictated something in the book!

22:24 – “So far your memory track record is shit” – Steve

22:26 – Adam: Wait! You’ll ruin the hot dog!
Steve: Uh, it’s in a bun! That’s where they go!

22:32 – Kristin: You know, Robin Hood: Prince of Tides!
Steve: That’s different, Prince of Tides is a movie about how Barbra Streisand finally gets fucked

22:34 – “B-T-Dubs, if anyone wants to eat this chicken we have knives” – KT

22:46 – “I feel like I have lungs of jello” – Kristin

22:47 – “Right, now I love how you are everyone’s favorite grandpa!” – Steve to Adam

22:49 – “One day my mom will be an ice cream cone on a bicycle” – Steve

23:21 – “I almost fell down the stairs just to make fun of youo” – Kristin

23:43 – Adam: Hey He likes meat!
Katie: I know…but I actually don’t know why I know

23:51 – “Your mom is like the Tom of MySpace for Facebook” – Steve

23:53 – “Girls who skate board are hats” – Steve

23:56 – “Are you guys talking about aquatic nanobytes?” – JessM

23:58 – “Scott is an aquatic nanobyte” – Steve

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trip - 2014-07-10
Chicago to Seattle - 2014-05-27
LOG: Balti-Malti Part 3 - 2011-07-24
LOG: Balti-Malti Part 2 - 2011-07-23
LOG: Balti-Malti Part 1 - 2011-07-22

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